Listen to this article. [7:25]
He did get some things right. For instance, I was kinda liking the way he made me look, especially the tall thing; then Bam!, I got into this terrible accident, and now I have what he calls a burden to overcome. All because he took this writing course and learned something about how writers have to give their characters challenges to make them interesting. The more challenges, apparently, the greater the struggle. The harder the struggle, the more satisfying it is when characters prevail. Readers apparently like that. There’s some kind of arc I heard him thinking about that gave him the idea of the accident. Believe me, being able-bodied doesn’t mean life isn’t tough enough. I didn’t need weeks in the hospital, months of rehab, and a permanent limp, thank you very much.
Then there’s Glenda—which wasn’t always her name. Good grief, he changed that poor girl’s name twice before he let her do or say very much. Boy, was she pissed. She’s nice enough, though; pretty too, and loyal to a fault. But I feel sorry for her. Hard as he tries, there’s just no chemistry between us. We’re going through the motions because we have no choice, but there’s no heat there, you know what I mean? No spark.
The big guy has charts and graphs and even a genogram for her just like mine; but what her hopes and dreams are is still a mystery, at least to him. Maybe because he’s a guy trying to get into a woman’s head. Tell you what, though: driving in a van across the country with my sorry ass wasn’t even on her radar. With my attitude, who can blame her?
Oops, wait, she’s scowling at me.
“What? You said you didn’t know what you wanted. I was there, remember?”
“Oh, okay, sorry. I misspoke, sorry.”
She’s pissed off because we’re in each other’s personal space. The Author shut his laptop to go to work and left us in bed together. We won’t be able to do anything else but lie here awkwardly until he comes home and gets us out of bed and on to whatever he decides comes next. Not that his ideas will be better, mind you, but at least they will be different.
“What’s that? Oh, sorry.”
Glenda wants me to be quieter. From experience, I can tell you I’m a tad neurotic. I don’t mind that at all, actually. It’s the lazy-bordering-on-criminal character trait that I argue with.
As for her, our Creator made her the long-suffering stay-at-home type when she’d really rather have a career, so she’s giving the guy fits. I think she hates all the rumination and would rather do something already.
He's taken some time developing my parents’ personalities, but why my father has to be such a bastard I have no idea. Dad—poor guy doesn’t have a name yet—keeps apologizing to me for the things the writer made him say to me. He’s pretty sure he’d never have left my mother and me, either. Thinks it’s a shitty thing to do. “I’m not that kind of guy,” he says, even though he doesn’t know what kind of guy he would be if he had a choice. Which he doesn’t—none of us do.
When our Master takes a break—like now—and when he sleeps, the four of us get to hang out and talk. Mostly it’s about what we think he’s going to do to us later, (I mean, seriously, what else can we talk about?). Sometimes, though, we dig deep and look for our own motivation. Like me, for instance, I’ve got no interest in driving across the country. That’s his dream, not mine. Me, I’d rather go to college. I wouldn’t have given up that scholarship! He should have given me a chance.
Every time I scowl, curse, and act all sullen, I want to yell at him, “I’m not that guy.” I’m pretty happy, actually. Not at all like he’s writing me. Being alive is such a trip. Getting to walk, even with a limp, and talk, and think, and have muscles? That is so cool. Why ruin it with a personality that’s never satisfied with anything. I know, I know, I’m going to grow. The way I figure it is, once a jerk always a jerk. Even if there are some who are going to believe in my redemption, I’m not buying it.
But here we are, thirty pages in and I’m stealing my uncle’s van so I can see the country and have some growth-producing experiences—some of them with people I’ve yet to meet. Glenda’s going to come along, even though she’d rather poke her eyes out. The Author wants her to get away from this abusive boyfriend who is formally named Zachery. She just wishes the guy would be nicer. And Zach? He’s not the brightest bulb, but he’s bigger than me. I just hope our guy doesn’t decide Zach needs to hurt me when he finds out Glenda’s leaving with me. I’m not into pain.
While Mr. Conflicted was sleeping last night, I managed to sneak in a tiny spark of doubt about where this was all going, hoping he’d wake up this morning ready to take a U-turn, but nope, there he was Googling away about the town I’m going to where there are sure to be more challenges. I guess I’ll go. I mean, what choice do I have? Me? I’d love to hang out with my dad and see what my smile looks like.
Even though I think the Author is on the wrong track, I hope he doesn’t give up. I live in fear of that delete button. I’d hate to be wadded up and thrown into the trash basket without ever having a chance. But I also wish he’d chill and listen to us instead of thinking he knows best. We’ve all got ideas about where this story needs to go, and we resist and give him headaches. It ain’t much, but it’s all we got.
Oops, there he goes, fingers flying. Nothing good can come of this.
Author's Comment
I had a character whose name simply never fit her, but I liked it. One night I had a dream about a woman named Kate, and I woke up knowing my character’s name was Kate. The writing got much easier after that.
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Patricia Jablonski was born in 1940 in subtropical south Florida before air conditioning and during segregation. She protested injustice everywhere she saw it. She graduated, got married, raised children, and enjoyed two fulfilling, service-related careers. She’s self-published three novels and one novella. Now retired, she writes.
Cindy Lamar lives in Northern California. She loves words, nature, and making shrubs with her spouse for their newly-launched beverage company Jumi Shrub. She’s also working on a memoir and enjoys writing poems. Favorite pastimes include making and listening to music and garden-time together with their cat Buzz.